Tuesday, September 16, 2008

THE DISEASE THAT CURED ME.....

The last 20-25 days have been very special for me. It gave me a new perspective and a liberated mind. It completely changed my monotonous daily routine school-tuition-TV. - Study-sleep. You must be wondering what the hell happened to her? It was nothing but this ailment called hepatitis or jaundice in simple terms. But due to it, I came across so many aspects of my life in a very short period of time….pain, struggle, power to overcome irritation, restlessness, belief, ecstasy, self realization… It was kind of an enlightening process.

I had so many varied emotional experiences that describing it all in a single post would be like putting a mammoth into a cage. During this medical leave, I just had no other option but bed rest. So I read books, watched movies, heard all kinds of music…Seriously, the books I read, music, films… all gave me a special kind of joy, something containing magic. And as I had nothing to do…all these things somewhere struck a chord in my mind and made me think deep over every simple issue. You know, it happens. Empty mind devil’s workshop…fortunately my mind wasn’t taken over by devil. These made me experience feelings and emotions which I never came across I thoroughly explored myself and realized what I really wanted from myself. I was surprised to learn how much people cared for me. My friends came to visit me and inquired bout how I was. It was most amazing when my sir called up.
But it was not all easy of coarse, I was ill. I was given glucose by drips and every second day it had to be a blood test or bilirubin test etc, etc. And it was really scary as I suffer from injection-phobia.

I had ample of time and that too when I was not allowed to do any kind of study. But I loved the idleness because I knew I will have to do double work to cover my course after I get well.
I badly needed a break because I was really irritated and highly frustrated by the sort of life I was living. All the time, I had the tension that I HAVE to do well at studies and I ended up thinking that everyone is doing well except me. Even my teacher called for me and asked about my deteriorating performance. I don’t know what it was…may be depression .But well I am all energized now… not physically, but mentally at least.
But this disease had proved to be like a refreshment drink after a heavy breakfast (my busy schedule) for my body and soul. So even if I suffered in the bed for about 4 weeks, I would count these medical holidays in my good memories.

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